Okay this needs to be short and sweet since I have to leave for class in 15 minutes. I feel like I have figured out my struggle with sticking to the things I've ben setting myself to do. Before I went through recovery I rarely to never had cravings and urges to binge or overeat -- yeah I know hard to believe. Even when I was around my friends who'd be indulging in icecream, candy, McDonald's, or any other shitty foods that I have weaknesses to I would stand my ground without the least bit of hesitation. Damn I miss that girl. Anyways before me eating disorder was an eating disorder, I used to go to the gym for fun and relaxation. After the gym I simply truly wasn't hungry for the junk I used to love. When given the chance to eat those weaknesses of mine I'd usually be uninterested and refrain from eating them.
When my eating disorder came about, I had been resisting these foods for some time upon my own will. It was so easy to develope an eating disorder because I had been without these foods for so long that I no longer missed them. Basically what I feel like I've realized is that my plans and goals are so extreme that I'm wanting these foods so badly because I'm telling myself I can't have them not because I truly want them or am hungry. I need to get myself back into this because I'm literally disgusted with what I look like. Upon this realization the only sensible thing to do would be to try to avoid these foods but give myself a treat every now and again and make sure I let myself know that I'm going to treat myself.
The problem with that theory is that I feel like I don't deserve to treat myself. I'm gross, thick, fat, bloated, ugly, fat, FAT, FAT FAT. UGH. Stuck between a rock and a hard place right now people. Please comment with any ideas or thinspiration you have for me. xo Love.
Two words - hot chocolate. If you buy the light brands like options or highlights then they only have 30-40 cals for a big cup and they taste like you're treating yourself without all the disgusting fatty stuff! My other love is sugar free jelly, it seems like youre eating stuff, and tastes nice, but it fills you up mega quick because its essentially just water (:
ReplyDeleteStay strong! Xx
When I have problems with binging, its because I'm hungry: I'll restrict, restrict, and then finally give in and indulge all my cravings.
ReplyDeleteI've found that if I keep healthy food on hand, and plan to eat 1 or 2 "healthy" meals (salad, fruit and yogurt), I'm much less likely to binge.
Even if I don't end up eating the meal, I know it's there, and it is what I CAN eat if I am hungry.
I hope that helps! And I hope lots of other people have good advice :)