HERE WE GO AGAIN. Yesterday I posted about my previous day's binge. My day started out pretty decent, I slept in and restricted until I went to the dining commons with my friends. Two pieces of toast and peanut butter then pasta and sauce :/ As if that wasn't bad enough I came back to my room and skyped my sister and cried for like a good hour. Not even cried, I sobbed. I'm so unhappy with myself right now. Later that night I ended up eating a ton of candy and popcorn. UGH.
I wokeup this morning overtired, slept through my alarm, and EXTREMELY PUFFY. My eyes are so puffy from crying for so long probably but I know my binge didn't do me any good. I wokeup and could feel my huge stomach without even having to touch it -- I knew touching it might result in a break down so I stopped myself. I can feel my thighs rub together when I walk -- I KNOW.. disgusting.
When am I going to gain control of this vicious circle? I binge and then restrict and workout like crazy then skip the gym then binge then starve then binge again. When will I be in control of myself again? When am I going to stop letting some ridiculous voice in my head decide what I do without having any say in it? I've said this many times before and I don't blame you if you don't believe me but TODAY is where it has to be put to an end. I can't wait any longer or "try to see if I can stop myself" NO. I will stop myself.
Today is a new day. Today will be a new beginning. NO more bingeing, no more giving in to that voice that I know I can ignore. I'm going to set a mini goal for myself to get it going and try to continue it. Today is the start to my four day NO BINGE cycle. We all set up fasts and cleanses and what not for ourselves to follow for a certain amount of time, so why not do it with binges? I encourage all of you ladies, and gentlemen if any?, so try this. We have such strong willpower when it comes to pushing ourselves to meet our short term goals. Here goes nothing. What do I have to lose right?
I will be skinny, whether anyone believes me or not. xo
I will join you with the no binging :) 4 days, yeah! We can do that!
ReplyDeleteYou will get your control back!
Stay strong,
Lottie x
Amen. Lets not binge. 4 days is a nice goal for now but I hope we can extend it afterwards :)
ReplyDeletexxxx
binging sucks, good luck with your week :) <3
ReplyDeletehi, reading your post made me feel a fair amount of emotion. maybe u need to connect with a different reality? is your environment and the things around you always the same, or are you jaded? like, maybe do volunteering for really poor people, or watch a bunch of videos of increadibly impoverished children, or other documentaries; or horrible medical surgury videos; or go to some club or meeting. like sometimes coffee shops or pubs have trivia nights. i've noticed what helps me stop binging the most if im too unmotivated to get out of that loop is if i accidently witness or am involved with something that i'm not used to.
ReplyDeletei hope you feel better and member that as a human, you can really accomplish this.
Sorry about the binges. Good luck on your goals. Try to keep your head up and stay strong. When your body gets stressed or upset it reacts by wanting more food. So try to stay possitive. Also keep a lot of grapefruit, lettuce, celery, apples (and other fruits and veggies) around the house so that if you binge at least it's on heathy stuff. You know? Drink lots of water. Good luck hun!
ReplyDeleteI really do appreciate your concern in your last comment, sweetie. I do try not to binge usually, same with purging. It just happens sometimes, you know how it is.
ReplyDeleteAs for your no-binging plan, it sounds to me like it could end in a binge, and we don't want that! So try to stay good for us ;). Hope you feel better soon, honey. I'm sending you lots of imaginary hugs right now.
<3
Hey I know how you feel about binges, wanna try 2 lose weight 2getha maybe? xo
ReplyDelete