I haven't been posting because I haven't been getting any positive feedback of my recent posts that I've done here and there and because I really don't have anything good to say. I think the last two times I've posted it was explaining how sick I have been and how I should be getting better soon so I could get back to the gym. Well that still hasn't happened. Honestly I haven't been to the gym in a good 3 weeks. I am STILL sick, yes still. Not just like oh I don't feel very well sick like sinus infection sick. They gave me medicine to take it away but of course that medicine made me feel dizzy, light-headed, and nauseous. COOL. Yeah I was supposed to take that four 14 days but I stopped when I got to school on Sunday because it's only making me feel worse.
Sunday night into Monday morning I wokeup with a fever and my entire body hurt. I had a fever all day Monday and hardly left my bed. I got ahead of the fever by taking tylenol and nyquil. I was feeling a bit better yesterday but my throat is still killing me! Today's Wednesday and it still hurts so I'm going to go to the health center to get tested for strep. I noticed this morning while brushing my teeth that my eyes are a little red again -- if that damn sinus infection is back i dont know what I'll do with myself. UGH
No one has to agree with me on this one but I am a HUGE believer in the saying "Everything happens for a reason." It's proven itself to be true SO many times in my life that I'd be insane not to believe it. Right now, however, I'm having a really hard time understanding why God is trying to come between me and my happiness -- my happiness being losing weight. I need this so badly I can't even deal with it anymore. I am so ashamed of how big I am now. If I could move away where I knew nobody and not come back until I was thin again I would do it in an instant. I don't care how lonely or sad I'd be I am just way too embarrassed of what I've become and although my friends tell me I look healthy and good again I don't care. I know the truth and it's that I look fat and disgusting.
I'm not looking for anyone to disagree with me because this is something I KNOW. I know my legs rub together, I know my arms are falbby, I know my colar bone is barely visible, I know my ass is huge again, I know I have dimples on my butt, I know my stomach hangs out -- not that I wear anything tight enough for it to be seen -- but you get the picture. I've fixed all of these things before and I was literally perfect. I need to be back there but I can't do it when I'm so damn sick. Upset doesn't even describe how I'm feeling. I don't know what to do right now. Ugh Help. :'(
I agree so much that everything happens for a reason! You don't choose a life, you live one.
ReplyDeleteI felt like that when I broke my foot this time last year. I really do hope with all my might that you get better soon, sweetie. And as lecturing as this sounds, you really shouldn't stop taking antibiotics before your dosage is done, because it just provokes antibiotic resistance, which means that whatever's making you ill will become immune to the medication.
Sending millions of positive thoughts and a big virtual hug your way <3
Aww I hope you get better soon! it sucks being I'll :/ and you've been I'll for so long :/
ReplyDeleteThere's not much you can do really, yours just going to have to wait, sorry I know that doesn't help much :/
Looking on the bright side, if you have lost the weight once you can do it again, so don't worry and just do the best you can not to gain to much :)
Stay strong,
Lottie x
I really hope you get better, I was just sick too and was so mad that I couldn't got out and ride my bike or hike or run. I was crying. When you get better I know you will be super motivated because you can finally go back to living your life and return to the gym. It's so nice that first day you feel good enough to work out :) I have faith that you will lose all the weight you want, you're a strong girl and can have so much control when you want to.
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