Alright so I once again have to apologize for being M.I.A which includes posting of my own and commenting on everyone else's posts! I love trying to pick you girls up when you're having a tough day or being encouraging when you've had a good one so I'm really really sorry that I haven't been around. I just finished my freshmen year at college and the last two weeks I had so much work to do! I've also been really sick for awhile and didn't findout until I came home that I had a really bad sinus infection :/ Anyways my doctor gave me medicine and I finally feel better enough today that I can get off my fat ass and go to the gym. THANK GOD.
I don't know how I let myself get back to my old weight. I am SO unhappy with how I look and feel and although I've said this so many times before, nows the time that I'm going to fix it. Here's whats going to get me through this. I am going to a summer program at school for six weeks so that I can get more credits faster which will hopefully lead me to be able to graduate before four years! With that being said, it's going to be a boring six weeks. None of my friends will be going there with me, so there will be no temptation. All I'll have is my busy school schedule and the gym! I am literally so excited to go because I know that this is exactly what I need. I'm leaving in five days but I'm not going to wait to start my weightloss until then. I plan on going to the gym the rest of the time I'm here and restricting as much as I possibly can. It'll be much better when I get to school and I don't have my mom on my ass about food and eating.
The other night I posted real quick just to sum up what's been going on with me. I said I had gotten into a huge fight with my mom that night. What happened was I was really upset that I had gained weight and she usually is so helpful to me. Usually she'll just hug me and help me feel less bad and tell me that I'll do what I need to and we'll figure this whole thing out but she was not nice like that AT ALL. She was like this is a way bigger problem than I thought, we took you to treatment and therapy and stuff and you're still like this and I think you're not gonna be able to go to school and we'll have to send you to a treatment facility. I got so mad I was like yeah Mom that's exactly what's going to help me, send me away with a bunch of skinny teeny tiny girls that I don't belong being around since I'm fat and I'll feel even worse being around them. Anyways we kept arguing like all night and it was so annoying but even more upsetting. I talked to my Dad about it and he was like no it's okay you're still going to school you just need to stay healthy and I said I would but like yeah right I can't look like this anymore so I'm doing the exact opposite. I feel bad for lying cause I always try to be really honest with myself and everyone else but I gotta do what I gotta do.
So basically here we go again with my out of control tendancies. Not officially until Sunday will I be out of control but still, I can't wait. I can't wait to be cold all the time and feel my hip bones and ugh I just CAN'T WAIT!!!! But with that said I should be back now since I'm not sick andd I'll have more time to talk about my life and struggles and whatnot. I hope everyone is succeeding on their goals and staying up. Don't let one hard day or a few hard days get you down because we can all do this! xo
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