So I'm on new medicine and I'm already starting to feel better!!! YAY. Extremely hopeful that I'll get to the gym tomorrow and be back on my way to beautiful. I need this really badly, just as I know that you all feel the same way. This effects my life so much it's incredible. I'm so pissed of with people I know because I'm embarrassed and I feel like they're embarrassed of me. My sister and i went from being the best of friends to only talking here and there because of how I've been acting. But I won't let her down. I'm going to change how I look again and it'll fix our relationship, I know it will.
Last night I had this dream.. it's really weird so don't judge me haha. I was in this huge gorgeous church and I went to a private school all my life so it kind of makes sense. Anyways it was a really long dream and I don't remember all of it but basically I hookedup with three of my exboyfriends in the loft of the church and I was like so happy about it? haha. Yeah weird I know but then I read my horoscope today and this is what it said:
The insight you've been taking from your dreams lately will serve you well today. Follow your gut and do what you think you need to. Certain images are recurring in your life, and the same issues are popping up again and again. Your subconscious is keying you in on what you need to deal with first. It's now time for you to deal with things once and for all. Getting to the heart of the matter as quickly as you can today will save you a lot of headaches later in the week.
Basically what I took from this is that I lost my sense of loving and being happy. I lost this when I lost what I had worked so hard to earn and that was thin. I know that once I'm thin again and feel beautiful I'll want to have relationships and put myself out there but right now I'm just too ashamed of my appearance. I need everyone's thoughts right now and I hope you all believe in me. I'm going to do this. I'm going to do this. I'm going to do this. I'm going to be happy again.
Woah, what a trippy horoscope, it really relates to you perfectly! (How rare!)
ReplyDeleteI'm sure no one is embarrassed of you though :( Remember being thin is nothing without being happy, so make sure you focus on that aswell C:
Good luck hunny, it's always such a rush when you come to realizations and strive foward towards a goal. You can do this !
xx
I think it's all about confidence. When you're confident in how you look and feel, you'll be confident in love and going after what makes you happy <3
ReplyDeleteHaha I have dreams like that all the time but at least they were with exes rather than strangers! I'm glad you're raring to go. I'm glad you're going to help become better friends with your sister; out of curiosity, are you the older or the younger and by how many years? I hope everything works out well!
ReplyDeleteFat free love x
I feel like I am in the same boat. I was SO happy with myself when I was thin, I felt free and unstoppable and powerful and just all around good. NOW that I am not thin, I feel so insecure and unhappy and I don’t want to put myself out there, or go places, or meet new ppl, or hang out with old friends, I just feel like this bigger body is a roadblock. Today I was supposed to go hang out with a friend, but I just looked in the mirror & thought “eww” and went back to sleep and totally ditched out on my plans. It is unbelievable how much my bigger body holds me back. I feel 100x better when I am skinny. My older sister wants me to go on vacations with her, my best friend wants me to come visit her at college, and I just feel too ashamed of my body to do much of anything. You can and will do this, you have done it before, you can do it again.
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